Happiness Fan

Today, in my solitude again, I was wondering, why I am so stubborn, why I am so hard….

I’m not, yes!! Finally, I realized I’m not. All of those attributes, are the roots that had been planted by my family. They never let me cry, complain or fail. As the result, I put cover and mask to protect my self yes.. that is my stubbornness..

Since small, I used to solve everything by myself, from the math problems until love matters, there seldom people to teach me to do this and that. I practically learn everything by me myself. I tried to solve genetic problem in biology for more than 2 hours, I learnt that u shouldn’t fall in love with ur senior that only like to pass by and smile with u, i learnt that you can get older but doesn’t mean u’r wiser….

Practically make me so independent, i feel somehow like I’m the son to this family because they act like that, even my appearance somehow far away from “feminism” I have everything that girl has, even I’m so sweet hihihi (narsis mode: on) But i’m blind of those gurl stuffs, even while in college, Tommy is the one that explained to me, you have to wear this..bla..bla… Weird! He is a guy.. pure guy and he suggested me..a girl.. to wear eye-liner, blush on, lip gloss to college.

I never feel that I need all of those except for my mom, I feel I’m so fine and sexy even without those things. Am I wrong? I’m still confuse about this part…

My purpose of life is become happiness fan that can give you wind of laugh and smile but before that I must recharge my battery first. Today, I start to not sweat small stuff, wake up a little bit late during holiday, spend some time for ur loved ones, write my blog, read books ( I haven’t read for quite long time).

My life is simple but doesn’t mean my thinking *wink