Breaking Down :( :)

Every Tuesday n Thursday, I felt something… unspiritful. I know the reason. As a teacher, I know that is wrong. I shouldn’t feel like that. But this class seems out of my ability. I wish I could have tons of happiness during that time.

Today, I was late for the first time in my entire career. :( My mom advised me to get home earlier, sleep earlier and finally wake up early. Once again, I realised.. I preety much laid back since last month.

I keep talking, talking and talking. When do I want to be back to my normal morning time?? Flash back a bit, I used to wake up at 6 o’clock and go to work sharp at 7 o’clock. Now, I go at 7.25. My emotion controls me and I hate that!!!!

I used to handle Ms. Front Desk in an excellent way, but recently I’m so fed up with her. Again my emotion controls me. Baba said : “Be a master mind, don’t be a slave to your mind”.

Now only I realize the mind, I keep focusing to outside world, n it’s getting messer and messer everyday. Yesterday, talked to appa.. how some people in center, they can spend the whole Sunday for Swami’s work. From Suprabatham until night preparing for Ganesha Chaturthi. N I see that their lives is getting better especially in prosperity field. Then I remember what Swami said that when u give everything to Me, I will handle it for you.

I’m strong, I must not be lazy. I’m a SAI YOUTH. I hold Swami’s name. I need to take care that responsible. Balance, keep focus and discipline.

Again and again…