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Thursday, September 9, 2010

Stand on the top of His legs

My evil side starts to overtake my self… I’m getting far away from Bhagawan and it seems it’s hard for me to control my emotion again. I was in training and I thought I passed. But I’m not!

No need to blame anyone on what happen to me. I myself need to make a move!

Monday – Friday

I will arrive at home basically at 8 p.m. then take my dinner, bath and pray and it should finish at 10.30 p.m. then I will talk to PC until 12 p.m. then continue to read Bhawan literature until 1 a.m. then go to sleep. Wake up at 5 a.m. getting ready 1 hour, pray and breakfast 30 min, then ol 30 min.

Saturday

I will arrive at home around 5 p.m. then take bath, dinner, pray it should be finished around 8 p.m. Prepare for SSEHV around 1 hour. 9 p.m. free time ---> either talk to PC or practice for Baba B’day.

Sunday

Bhagawan’s day

Can I follow this guideline? Swami I don’t have any idea. Now, PC involves in my life so at least he must agree, if no. I don’t know what to do.

This is so ridiculous that I see myself such an inresponsible lady. When infront of Nova, Sarika, Mewin, Rajen, Appa and Ne Krishna, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

This is weird, I’m so focus on my work at the school. I make Swami’s work the second priority. Hmm.. I’m speechless…

He never let me down.. that’s the only thing I believe. :)

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